Convent: a Humorous Novel

By (author)Sam Clemens

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Something funky is going on at the sub shop.

Cosmo Hendricks has patronized the deli for years, and aside from a reliably delicious buffalo chicken sandwich, his visits have been wholly unremarkable. But lately, the staff has started to treat him strangely; extra long looks, reverent smiles, and finally, deep discounts on food and sizable additions to his orders that Cosmo neither requested nor paid for, all without explanation. If he didn’t know any better, Cosmo Hendricks might think these people believed he was someone special.

The unjustified gifts escalate until Cosmo confronts the sub shop employees, and the explanation is so outlandish, so bizarre, that Cosmo Hendricks considers abandoning his favorite lunch spot forever. But he’s given pause by his best friend Laird, who identifies an opportunity in his pal’s predicament; rather than run from these lunatics’ misconceptions, why not lean into them, and see if they can benefit from this apparent delusion?

And benefit, they do. Cosmo and Laird enter into a strange, thrilling arrangement that continues to intensify until this goofy sub shop mix-up becomes a matter of life and death. As the scheme spirals out of control, the friends are left wondering: is it all really a giant misunderstanding, or is Cosmo Hendricks really who these people say he is?

KINDLE

Something funky is going on at the sub shop.

Cosmo Hendricks has patronized the deli for years, and aside from a reliably delicious buffalo chicken sandwich, his visits have been wholly unremarkable. But lately, the staff has started to treat him strangely; extra long looks, reverent smiles, and finally, deep discounts on food and sizable additions to his orders that Cosmo neither requested nor paid for, all without explanation. If he didn’t know any better, Cosmo Hendricks might think these people believed he was someone special.

The unjustified gifts escalate until Cosmo confronts the sub shop employees, and the explanation is so outlandish, so bizarre, that Cosmo Hendricks considers abandoning his favorite lunch spot forever. But he’s given pause by his best friend Laird, who identifies an opportunity in his pal’s predicament; rather than run from these lunatics’ misconceptions, why not lean into them, and see if they can benefit from this apparent delusion?

And benefit, they do. Cosmo and Laird enter into a strange, thrilling arrangement that continues to intensify until this goofy sub shop mix-up becomes a matter of life and death. As the scheme spirals out of control, the friends are left wondering: is it all really a giant misunderstanding, or is Cosmo Hendricks really who these people say he is?

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