Most days it’s manageable. No more than a quiet wondering around the edges of her mind.   What has become of the baby she left behind?   Smiling through the pain and suffering in silence, Leslie Laudon marches forward. Embracing the life skillfully designed by her husband Paul. Living right could be penance for an impossible choice made with an uneasy heart. Dutiful and anchoring, Leslie poured herself into her other children. Nurturing them through infancy, protecting them as toddlers, guiding them as teens. As her youngest child heads off to college with her suitcases and coordinating dorm room accessories, so goes Leslie’s identity.