Fruit Reamer

Buttie’s quiet life gets flipped over-easy when he crosses paths with a mysterious Belgian Waffle. His attempts to track her down lead him to an establishment known as The Fruit Bar… and into a world that’s a lot spicier than his former vanilla existence.Belle’s ready to retire from the life of a PorkHub camgirl, but she’s not sure what comes next. Her new admirer seems nice enough, but does he see her as more than an amuse bouche?From a juicy encounter in a test kitchen to an amateur drag-on-fruit show, the two explore their budding attraction, and the benefits of a healthy dose of Vitamin D.I have never been more afraid than when listening to my partner cackle while they write this. — My HusbandAfter reviewing the scene that inspired the cover, I gave up reading altogether. I am illiterate now, and happier for it. — My Editor, Taken From a Verbal Quote After Going Cold Turkey on the Written WordIf you don’t take out the line about the chocolate donut, I’m pulling the plug on this project. — My BossContent Note:Sometimes all you need is a snack.Dear reader, be forewarned: this book is a delicious, raunchy foray into a world where people are food and food is people. It’s meant to be absurd. It is not, however, meant to make fun of gender minorities or their experiences.Many of the puns and jokes in this book refer to recognizable human experiences, but I never wanted them to map 1:1. I want you to be confused. I’m confused, too. About a lot of things, including gender. While working on this book, I had a long and recurring conversation in which a friend repeatedly tried to explain why the scents of some fruits are feminine and some are masculine. For him, the facts are obvious. For me, that conversation is as surreal as the image on the cover of the smutty little novel you’re holding in your sweaty, perverted hands.So, let’s just make sure we’re on the same page here: gender constructs are very silly, but they also matter deeply to a lot to people. Both of those things are true. I don’t have any desire to tell someone who they are, and what they can or can’t do to express themselves, but I would very much like to be able to acknowledge that we’re all making it up as we go. Trans and nonbinary folks aren’t the punchline of this story. The punchline is that anyone thinks the entirety of human experience can be neatly divided into two little boxes.Stay safe out there, kids. Hydrate and take your vitamins. It’s going to get better.