From Bones to Moans: Field Notes on Tent Breach Frequency, Rock Velocity, and Female Hormonal Response in Relation to Homo Sasquatchus

From Dinosaur Tracks to Sasquatch Courtship Rituals: Observer Objectivity = Lost.Dr. Lila Rhodes is a brilliant paleontologist with a love for bones, books, and tracking down evidence of long-lost dinosaurs. Unfortunately, she’s also saddled with a Brent—her wanna-be vlogger boyfriend whose ego is more frustrating than his tent-building skills. When their expedition deep into the forests of the Pacific Northwest in desperate search of potential dinosaur footprints takes a turn toward the strange, Lila discovers a set of tracks that don’t belong to any prehistoric creature.They belong to something bigger. Hairier. Hungrier.What began as a search for fossils of ancient footprints becomes a descent into a moonlit mating ritual older than civilization itself. Rocks are thrown, branches break, tents collapse—and Brent is no match for the towering Alpha who has chosen Lila as his mate.Now, armed only with her scientific curiosity (and slightly questionable decision-making), Lila finds herself at the mercy of the most legendary cryptid of them all where she learns first hand:Some legends can’t be studied from afar. You need to get up-close and personal.Packed with pseudo-scientific observations, cryptid courtship rituals, and enough chaos to destroy the fossil record, From Bones to Moans is a monster romance perfect for:✨ Cryptid Romance✨ Academic parody with spice✨ Dino Nerds✨ Field notes turned feral moans